My blog

Monday, September 27, 2010

Restoration or Exploitation of Thyself

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, "What will I be? Will I be pretty, will I be rich??
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera .

The librarian plays Solitaire as the kids wait anxiously in the queue, the professor continues ,royally ignoring his inefficiency in teaching and it’s effectiveness in the form of successful distractions amongst students, family business becomes a compulsion and an excruciating U turn from fantasies which get wrapped n forgotten in d name of hobby( with oodles of stories to narrate after 30yrs…notice the pride in their eyes when they do that) for some fresh graduates, the maid servant screams she’ll charge extra for cleaning the pink handkerchief isolated in a heap of white bed sheets , a top brand manager of a popular newspaper feels he is caged in his office n pours his heart out to a 21yr old stranger, the beggar pushes her three tiny tots in a myriad of automobiles because they are a better bet when it comes to the Ka Ching. I wonder what would have happened had they questioned what was being dished out to them. What was fair? What justice and the right to choose means? I wonder if life would have been more miserable for them if these questions were answered. Which of the two makes sense…waiting for the answers or just keep on moving?

Angels from hell ( AFH…they take their job very seriously ) : why advertising after 4yrs of engg.? Why this drastic shift ?

Phaedrus ( 4 clouds of thoughts floating around the head)A) I am interested in the field.Gives me the adrenaline rush. ( Go drink coffee then.More effective….Don’t say this)
B) Working for college events ..which blossomed a liking for the field ( you are from xyz coll. Which is in a town called Nagpur with xyz events relatively small in number. Forget the 450 participants you got for your event. Other colleges from other cities talk in thousands….nope not this)
C) Creative I am. Can’t go with the flow.can’t follow the norms. ( Hmm but do you want to risk scaring them with your rebellious streak already? Think.
D) This is what I want to do. I know a quality education of 2yrs n I would have traveled enough to announce my arrival. Don’t you notice the passion in my eyes and words when I speak about what I like? The heart has reasons that reason cannot know ( hahahaaa. Wrong century,dudette!! Its not thirst to learn , its thirst to earn)

What comes out of the mouth is what lies in the heart…Ohhh Phaedrus, you romantic fool !! The queen of Hearts has always been your best bet. Says Phaedrus : “ if everyone continued with what they started then Rajnikanth would still be a bus conductor n Sean Connery , a milkman.” (option E will occur rarely.we will hesitate to chose it most of the times.only the brave n foolish go ahead with it.)

AFH collapse stupefied .

Satan seems to understand and laughs.

Phaedrus remains an incorrigible dreamer.Now it seems to me, some fine thingsHave been laid upon your tableBut you only want the ones that you cant get….Desperado.

An 18 yr old drags his feet claming it to be a moonwalk in a reality show viewed by millions. Says he has been doing it from d age of one. He has to be like MJ. That is all he knows n that is all he wants. Phaedrus laughs. Somebody save him. She believes she’ll cause rain when she sings the Malhar raag. She begins and frogs surrender to the snakes (its better to die this way than die due to lack of rainfall ..which won’t take place ever ).Phaedrus squeals and rolls on the sofa laughing like a maniac. What makes these fools believe they can sail through their entire life doing something they are not even meant to do? 6 months…Phaedrus, the joke is on you. Can you even manage a smile now? Self awareness needs lot of courage. Unfortunately, it needs a stamp of agreement from people sitting high up there. When you are there, people think that you really know.

Do we really have a control over what we want? Why do others play an important role in deciding our access to our desires? Is is okay to fear that you might go waste? Why is it so agonising when you dare to ask questions but never find the answers? Why is everyone running in the same rat race? Even if you win you still remain a rat. Is is okay to find a reason for each chase? They say I gotta learn But nobody's here to teach me. If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?Ayn Rand says…Nothing is given to man on earth except a potential and the material on which to actualize it.The potential is a superlative machine: his consciousness; but it is a machine without a spark plug, a m/c of which his own will has to be the spark plug,the self starter and the driver;he has to discover how to use it and he has to keep it in constant action.The material is the whole of the universe, with no limits set to the knowledge he can acquire and to the enjoyment of life he can achieve.But everything he needs or desires has to be learned,discovered and produced by him- by his own choice,by his own effort,by his own mind.I'm an educated fool with money on my mind Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye.Too much television watching, got me chasing dreams…The spider continues spinning in the dark in spite of all the times the web is torn apart. Sometimes I wonder whether not questioning is the answer to most of the questions. Very difficult to do so for some one like Phaedrus but saves him from self mutilation.

The Importance Of Acknowledgement

The endearing cheek of a cherubic face, all of 5yrs, broadcasted an unstoppable flow of salty waters amidst the potpourri of faces with smiles that seemed permanently starched. After an investigation carried out to crack the mystery behind d sorrow, the accused ,looking very pretty in pink and of the same age as the victim, was unmasked. She was found guilty of ignoring the crucial information and updates about Barbie and Ken that the former had to share. A treaty was signed and the white flag was waved. An audience was found in one and the speaker was delighted. A few hours later something happened rather something was made to happen which left an impression on my mind. The victim ,no longer so, strutted around along with her mother finding an audience in hundreds. A tantrum for an exotic dress had done the trick.Now she didn’t have to cry for the gal in pink to cater to her wedding plans for Barbie. She was being ‘heard’ because she was being ‘seen/noticed’.

When we are born ,the first thing we are supposed to do is cry.Cry our lungs out.Cry so that we are heard loud and clear and given a thumbs up by the doc for our chances of living beyond the hospital room. When we die, the epitaphs read our duration on this earth.We still want to be heard even after our death.I just didn’t vanish from the face of the earth.I was there for some decades.You better not forget that and I hope your are listening!!

If this world is a stage, I’m sure none of us would want to be a tree .Tree which is laden with fruits but still is just a background display with no dialogues. Everyone wishes to be Old Mcdonald (the only protagonist) and rest to be the farm animals.

I do not detest the desire to be heard in people. A joke shared, the validity of an information crucified by a debate, a sorrow understood ,a speculation steamed and served,an outcry for justice,a plea to condone, a nonsense stretched , a memory revisited, a talent appreciated, an advice consumed/ignored, a proposal heard, a deal fixed ,a success celebrated, a failure criticized, a bark thanking for the biscuit etc etc. We all need to be noticed to be heard. The fact that someone is listening to what you have to say does give a sense of satisfaction and justification that we are not the living dead yet.The topics of conversation changes with different people. As we grow, we become aware of to whom and what we need to say in order to be heard. Your dentist is paid to listen to your toothaches and not about the tiff you had with your boyfriend.As a result we sub consciously choose the information to be shared just to find an honest sounding board in the opposite.

The newspaper reads “ former Tiger mistress predicts bright future with him”.Why does she need to be a clairvoyant suddenly?? She has already done the damage with the affair confessions ..so why this new update? Well, it is simple. She was finally being heard,..heard by millions.She succeeds.An ardent admirer threatens to hang himself if Sonia.Gandhi refuses the PM post. He is heard too…heard for his ‘loyalty’. A politician goes on a hunger strike to highlight his demand. Heard again…heard for his ‘sacrifice’. A superstar refuses to grace an occasion when denied the front row seats. He is heard…heard because he is a ‘brand’..A 19 yr old molestation case ends with a stripping off of a medal and a smirking accused flaunting in front of the cameras.19 yrs of talk and still not heard here.The devastating effects of a heinous crime cleans the ear wax of the authority. Sometimes you need to scream to be heard or sit really high up.


Sometimes indecisiveness, insecurity and fogged vision about the future may lead us to people for an advice. It is perfectly fine but choose your audience. A stranger maybe of some momentary help because his advice will be somewhat unbiased but won’t it be better if you share it with someone who at least knows you better?? Most people just hear us out and not listen. Share but share wisely. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. We tend to confuse attention with a false sense of care. To be seen is not necessarily be heard. A painting can be just stared at or the story behind it can be discussed. Borrow different hues but paint your work alone and make sure you stroke a magnificient story.